my mouth tastes like poor choices
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
