Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I wear drunk well.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
