You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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