Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
