Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
