They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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