Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.