Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
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He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
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I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.