Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.

  (425): View more from Washington

  for sure. did you let him do it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  thats not the point.

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  (206): i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship. (425): for sure. did you let him do it? (206): thats not the point. http://tfl.nu/qjrv
  Replies (80) Good night (2538) Bad night (3764)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO

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  (847): HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO http://tfl.nu/vpr1
  Replies (34) Good night (3066) Bad night (1094)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.

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  (512): I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two. http://tfl.nu/pdyq
  Replies (10) Good night (1094) Bad night (3707)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club

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  (815): so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club http://tfl.nu/2gpd
  Replies (9) Good night (2480) Bad night (897)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."

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  (504): And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone." http://tfl.nu/d5h9
  Replies (15) Good night (2760) Bad night (1171)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you

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  (615): Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you http://tfl.nu/wyc5
  Replies (8) Good night (3920) Bad night (730)
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  (631): View more from New York

  My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch

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  (631): My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch http://tfl.nu/rckm
  Replies (6) Good night (1430) Bad night (719)
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  (408): View more from California

  Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission

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  (408): Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission http://tfl.nu/3kcn
  Replies (6) Good night (2060) Bad night (654)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.

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  (631): I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice. http://tfl.nu/lrh1
  Replies (6) Good night (1104) Bad night (617)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?

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  (814): I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today? http://tfl.nu/mxod
  Replies (5) Good night (1409) Bad night (539)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.

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  (320): So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian. http://tfl.nu/850i
  Replies (2) Good night (1200) Bad night (749)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.

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  (503): He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain. http://tfl.nu/zlsy
  Replies (2) Good night (1162) Bad night (424)
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  (650): View more from California

  He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.

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  (650): He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse. http://tfl.nu/0nh4
  Replies (1) Good night (897) Bad night (426)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.

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  (207): It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night. http://tfl.nu/zq29
  Replies (1) Good night (797) Bad night (339)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.

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  (330): I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine. http://tfl.nu/asdt
  Replies (0) Good night (966) Bad night (255)

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