A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste