Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.

(917): View more from New York City

Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.

(812): View more from Indiana

Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.

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(812): Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background. (917): Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex. (812): Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds. http://tfl.nu/5x1m

Replies (32) Good night (508) Bad night (1739)
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(813): View more from Florida

I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters

(1-813): View more from Florida

What is a male extremity?

(813): View more from Florida

i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex

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(813): I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters (1-813): What is a male extremity? (813): i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex http://tfl.nu/l9w1

Replies (35) Good night (768) Bad night (4714)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water

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(508): you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water http://tfl.nu/opqy

Replies (15) Good night (7569) Bad night (665)
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(720): View more from Colorado

so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass

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(720): so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass http://tfl.nu/kbrv

Replies (21) Good night (1312) Bad night (8205)
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(716): View more from New York

kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year

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(716): kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year http://tfl.nu/qbpm

Replies (20) Good night (5236) Bad night (1145)
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(214): View more from Texas

Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.

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(214): Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me. http://tfl.nu/otui

Replies (12) Good night (2590) Bad night (1014)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club

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(507): Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club http://tfl.nu/ln6l

Replies (10) Good night (3495) Bad night (1268)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.

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(320): I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on. http://tfl.nu/x1xg

Replies (21) Good night (6981) Bad night (1597)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.

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(402): He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart. http://tfl.nu/f1o2

Replies (5) Good night (2359) Bad night (990)
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(904): View more from Florida

so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination

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(904): so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination http://tfl.nu/nopp

Replies (5) Good night (2309) Bad night (964)
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(519): View more from Ontario

What color are my eyes?

(1-519): View more from Ontario

Ummmm... 34 C?

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(519): What color are my eyes? (1-519): Ummmm... 34 C? http://tfl.nu/3v5v

Replies (14) Good night (11746) Bad night (1375)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.

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(647): Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine. http://tfl.nu/8bqc

Replies (7) Good night (838) Bad night (2047)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm drinking too much free beer

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.

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(651): I'm drinking too much free beer (508): Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible. http://tfl.nu/a7hm

Replies (14) Good night (2418) Bad night (1102)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?

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(614): I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening? http://tfl.nu/furs

Replies (18) Good night (1537) Bad night (1601)
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(636): View more from Missouri

It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.

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(636): It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked. http://tfl.nu/8md6

Replies (15) Good night (1215) Bad night (513)

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