i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning