Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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