I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
