Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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