"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
