I'm jealous of your bromance
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
