i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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