Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
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Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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