There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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