Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
