Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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