I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sext me about skeletons
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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