I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
