bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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