you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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