Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
