I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
