My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yo dont text me then not text me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
