Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
