She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
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I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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