you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
