Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize