Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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