Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
