There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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