my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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