he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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