I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We got so high we made milksteak
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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