time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize