if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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