the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
