6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
