I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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