You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
