Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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