I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
