I just saw a hot homeless man
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
