Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
