Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
dude. I can hear the air.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize