Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
