i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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