literally had 100 drinks last night.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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