i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
