Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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