I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
