Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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