doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
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Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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