I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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