Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
