We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
