Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
