I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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