He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
